Unlike most women, I didn't always dream of becoming a mother. As a matter of fact, I put it off as long as possible. As the oldest of six children raised by a mother who knew how to have lots of babies, but nothing about what they needed to become happy and healthy adults, I was deathly afraid of that I would be just like my mother.I never doubted that my mom loves all her children, but I could tell even when I was little that she didn't always love being a mom. I used to resent her for going back to work, dating men after she divorced by father, remarrying, making bad financial choices that created hardships, and sheltering us too much. Yes, my mom loved her children, but she was also searching for something that we didn't fulfill.
I worked hard on myself to avoid the same pitfalls that made my own mom such a tortured soul. I went to college because she didn't. I didn't marry at 18 because she did. I traveled the world because she didn't. I didn't have a child in my 20s because she did. I thought being the exact opposite of my mom would save me from becoming like her.
I took the leap into motherhood when I finally trusted myself, when I really felt like I would be a good mom. And you know what? I am darn good at it. I taught my daughter to walk, dance, put on her own socks, and say "shut up, dog!" My proudest mom moment, however, was realizing I had nothing to be afraid of. I am a lot different from my mom, but she is a part of me, which makes us similar in some ways. I am okay with that.
disclosure: This is an entry to the Proud Mom contest, I'm in the running to win $50! Sponsored by uPrinting event ticket printing services!
6 comments:
I could have written this post Teresha. I was afraid of becoming a mom for some of the same reasons. That's why it took me so long. Love the full disclosure here. And hope you win!
I too had fears of becoming like my mom. She had to deal with a lot of physical problems that made her not the best mom she could have been. Only as I am getting older have I been able to see where she was and what she had to deal with that made her the way she is. I'm still proud to say that I do not have her temper, but now I am able to be grateful for the sacrifices she made and the job she did.
You are doing a fabulous job as a mom. I can see that in your posts when you talk about Marlie. I think a lot of it has to do with living our life before we settle in to be a mother. We do not have the what if's in the back of our head. Keep up the great mothering! And happy belated Mother's Day!
You do come across as such a great and natural mom! Good luck in the contest.
I'm a good mama, too! I taught the Babby to say: "NO, BAD KITTY!"
Hope you win! And you're and awesome mom.
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