Yesterday we celebrated papi's birthday at a fancy Latin restaurant complete with surprise cupcake after dinner. p.s. Don't my boobs look magnificent? Thanks chocolate chip! Marlie behaved during dinner except for a few attempts to run off into the parking lot. I'll take that over how she's been acting this week. I got a glimpse into my future as an overwhelmed mother to a toddler and newborn. And I am freaking out! Marlie has made it clear that she is not going to share our attentions and affections with anyone else. Her strategy is to act up from the minute she wakes up to the second she falls asleep so that we are constantly engaged in a power struggle with her. I'll give you an example: Marlie takes a bag of popcorn kernels out of the pantry, rips open the bag and sends tiny kernels all over the living room. That was an extreme example, but it illustrates how quickly she will escalate the misbehavior if she feels that she is not getting enough attention. Some would say that it's just the typical Terrible Twos and she is testing boundaries. I can't help but feel that there is more to it. She knows a baby is on the way and I think she is jealous. A similar situation happened at school when the directors had a baby and Marlie became very upset that she was no longer the center of attention. What is a pregnant mommy (read: tired and hormonal and losing patience quickly) to do? I am not proud that I have been resorting to a lot of yelling lately (again, I am tired, hormonal and losing patience quickly). I try to make sure Marlie is getting the attention she needs, as much as my tired self can muster. We go for walks, read and draw together, watch Nick Jr. together, and eat together. I just don't have the energy to run around and dance for hours like we used to. How do I make her understand that while mommy's body is changing that doesn't mean my love for her has changed? How do I make her understand that mommy can't go-go-go anymore and needs her rest? How do I make her understand that acting out is not acceptable and that the tantrums have to stop?
On the bright side, she is officially potty trained (at home, school is another story). She has been going to the bathroom on her own for pees and poops all week. It's amazing how children can change suddenly. A week ago I would say Marlie was going to be in diapers forever, but a light just flipped on and now she's potty pro.
8 comments:
I know some children behave like that when other children get the attention more than them, but when they see their siblings that change. Maybe you can give her cuddles and kisses and tell her little brother/sister is going to give her more kisses. They can start bonding through the belly wall by making her pat the belly as part of the routine. She will like the new game: getting to know baby :)
i can only imagine how difficult it's going to be with a second baby but here's to hoping that Marlie is the best sister ever...at least after she realizes how helpful she can be and of course how much she is still loved even with another baby! kudos to the potty training..now only if my godson would stop saying NO to his mom everytime she mentions the potty!
1st off congrats on the potty training! That's a feat in and of itself! Lol I have to wait until next month to really really start because she's at school more than she is at home and they won't start until she's 2 so me doing it at home and them not doing it at school right now is kinda pointless ya know?
Second happy bday to your hubby and you guys all look great in that pic. I love seeing pics with marlie actually smiling since I know how she does u lol.
I think it is just something about the age 2 that makes our little ones want to test boundries. I find myself fussing at jasmine more than usual and having to tell her things more than once. It annoys me to no end and she's just started some of this behavior so I know its because she's nearing 2.
I do think marlie will be a very good big sister though. You just have to make sure you include her. Let her help you do things as far as the new baby is concerned. She's just trying to make sure she's not pushed aside in the process.
It is a tough transition, my oldest had a hard time when her brother was born and I remember feeling so guilty for destroying her perfect little world. It didn't last forever though and they are good friends at times. My secret weapon with a toddler and newborn was preschool. They seemed to behave better when they had somewhere to go that wasn't baby related.
Aww! Happy birthday to your Hubby and LOL at the.boobs. think it time for.some.reverse physicology for Marlie. Time.for the.big sister shirts, cups, and Everthing else. LOL it'll work for a.minute.
I can't sugar coat it for you my friend, that first year with a toddler and a baby just about did me in. I went to a few places I didn't think I would. Now in the second year of Naveen's life, I feel a bit of normalcy. It's worth it to see that we gave them each other. It sounds like Marlie is right on cue for two's and new baby. What a beautiful family picture and you my friend look gorgeous!
It might sound crazy and opposite of the other advice you get, but I tend to busy myself with "mommy things" a lot and they grow accustomed to entertaining themselves and understanding "mommy things". And mommy things will include caring for the new baby. But I have a feeling you've been much more involved in her daily activities than me, as a working outside the home mom. Just be honest, and explain over and over again how your body is changing, and what's it busy doing, and the effects. She'll understand much more than you realize.
Great family pic! And congrats on Marlie being potty trained. Hoping things get easier for you soon.
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