It was rainy and gloomy for several days, which put me in a gloomy mood. But the main reason it was so crappy is that Marlie has been acting "extra" all week...extra defiant, extra temperamental, extra demanding, and extra rude. She fought with me over everything. I was seriously tired and at my wits end by mid-week so I talked to her teacher who gave me a book called, Raising Your Spirited Child.I do not exaggerate when I tell you that the clouds parted and sun rays beamed down on me once I started reading this book.
It has helped me realize that there is nothing wrong with my child, this is her normal. She is not bad or out-of-control, she is spirited. The book talks about how a spirited child "feels more" and "does more" than the typical child. I can attest to that! All the things that I admire about her like her keen observations are also the things that can frustrate the hell out of me. Do you know what it's like to try and get a spirited child into a car when she stops every two feet to look at a leaf, pick up a rock, or point out the spiderweb along the way?! It can take ten minutes to walk from our front door and get into the car!
Anyways, I am learning how to work with her unique perspectives and personality traits. This doesn't mean I let her run wild and get away with being disobedient. It means avoiding the things that set her off because she is extra sensitive (like her socks seam not lined up with her toes) and showing her how to channel her spirited qualities (like her bossiness, err, I mean natural leadership skills) in a socially acceptable way. If it sounds like a lot of work, it is! Having a spirited child is like being on-call, but I must say that I am feeling less drained and more at peace since this book has come along. If you have a spirited child, I recommend you pick up a copy!
7 comments:
That sounds like the Babby! I think my main technique for dealing with it is just making a concerted effort to stay patient. To keep frustration at bay. I am better at this than my husband, who I now and then have to remind that the Babby has only been in this world for a few years. She's trying on different personas. Exploring slowly. Learning who she is and how she fits. It's rough sometimes, but it works for me!
I am glad you found a book that helps you!
I stay on Jas's tail about her behavior. I cant let her get out of line because if I give her an inch she'll take a mile. It works for us though.
I'm glad you've found something that helps you deal with Marlie girl better. Cant have you all stressed out
Sounds like my kind of book, for both Owen AND Evelyn! I will seek it out for certain. Finding new ways to handle the creativity of our children is a never ending and exhausting job. But it's so much fun along the way.
That book is amazing. I read it when Kaiden was about 3 I think, I thought I was going to lose my mind and the book totally made sense to me. He has calmed down a little but he is still spirited for sure!
I should read this book but a part of me has accepted that this is normal for boys. I have never encountered such energy - I was always quiet and shy.
"Spirited" definitely sounds better than "high maintenance", which is the phrase I use to describe Miss V. I read that book a long time ago and probably should give it another go as I don't remember anything from it. It's cool that Marlie's teacher is so supportive! BTW, I just noticed that you're not taking anonymous comments anymore, did something happen?
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